New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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