I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
