Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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