So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
