3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
