We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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