Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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