he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
