Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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