Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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