Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
