I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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