OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
