she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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