I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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