it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
