I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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