what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
