the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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