I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
