I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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