We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
third nipple confirmed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
