He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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