oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
