Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
