Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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