i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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