I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
