my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
