You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
