And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize