it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
