So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
