I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Randomize
