I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
