You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
