i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
