im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
