Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
