Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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