someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
