Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He kissed a someone with a penis
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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