What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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