I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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