the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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