The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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