Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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