Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We are two peas in an std pod
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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