Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
