Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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