"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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