Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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