ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
