im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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