my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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