OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
