The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
