i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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