we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
