The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize