not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
