first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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