dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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