My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
