Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
