feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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