Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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