i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
