I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it was like eating out sand paper
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
