i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
