I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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