Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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