I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
