two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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