Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
