dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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