I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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