it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we made out on top of his cat.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
